The Gospel of Derek
The gospel of Derek is little known,
being not one by which the church has grown.
It was found in Egypt under a stone,
a dusty scroll stained with script,
deciphered by scholars alone.
Rumoured to be short,
a few fragments of speech,
it mentions Derek,
but it seems he had little to teach.
He complains that a camel
once stood on his toe,
and coughed in his ear,
to give wings to his woe.
“What news is that to us?” his hearers say.
“It was painful to me,” he tells them,
before gruffly, they move away.
In the final fragment, so poor,
he dresses in no more than a sack,
he complains that an ostrich
butted him once in the back.
The patron saint of complainers
perhaps he should be.
Better than being forgotten,
Derek might sagely agree.
And yet some Bible scholars obscurely see,
to many mysteries and secrets,
the gospel of Derek may still hold the key.