Clyde the Conversational Clam
Clyde the conversational clam
was philosophic, ocean deep,
liked to pose such questions as:
why do gasteropods cling to sleep?
and, what is water and why is there so much of it?
Fellow shell fish had no answer,
being mute as molluscs, limited as limpets,
blessed with barely barnacle wit,
but a few of his listeners, he stimulated,
like Octavian the octopus, Kronus the crab,
but some sea urchins wished he would be silent,
got self encrusted on a lobster pot and hauled away,
that his talkative stream would find its dam,
that in an oyster his voice could be hid.
Many folk of fin and scale agreed.
Felix the formidable squid certainly did.
The Life Of A Crab
From the outside, it may seem drab,
the life of a crab.
But if you like salt water and sand,
it’s really quite grand.
Rock pools on a rocky coast,
what crabs like the most,
furnished with seaweed, shells and fern,
room to crawl and turn.
Eels spy with telescopic eye,
gulls screech to defy.
Can get a bit fishy round here,
when not oyster clear.
Crabs can follow the seahorse trail,
signs left by a snail,
to coral courts hid by the sea,
where the mermaids be.
From the inside, it’s never drab,
the life of a crab.
Like Barnacle Bill Buccaneer,
it wells with good cheer,
Few now can tell you about Zach Zip,
left school, first became a sailor on a ship,
found thunder storms at sea quite scary,
but he never lost his grip.
Bought a banjo in America,
came back to Bristol
with a few tunes he wrote on his trip.
Went to London, to make his fortune,
made one record, but the sales were poor,
and that’s why you never heard
of Zach Zip before.
O, I sailed the cold North Atlantic,
saw the site where Titanic sank,
help me make a fortune with this tune
to put your money in my bank.
That was the chorus from his only record,
North Atlantic Blues,
earned him enough to buy a new suit
and an extra pair of shoes.
Music history celebrates the popular,
does not mention those who failed.
Zach Zip thought he should have stayed a sailor,
but his ship has long since sailed.